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<--- All contents copyright 1997 by Frank Edward Nora --->

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Classic Zope 15 "Zope's Blacksmith Craziness"
by Frank Edward Nora, Lord of Obliviana, Tarb 6067 (5/3/97), copyright 1997

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Classic Zope 16 "Original Zope in The Mystery of the Big Clock"
by Frank Edward Nora, Lord of Obliviana, Tarb 6067 (5/3/97), copyright 1997

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Zope's Blacksmith Craziness
August/September 1988

(ZOPE wears a mustache as Blacksmith Zope)

ZOPE (singing & banging hammer on anvil)
Killing is good if you do it with wood!

ZOPE raises his hammer.

ZOPE (still singing)
Involute.

O'DEL in distance)
Hey Zope!

ZOPE (turning around as he's bringing the hammer down)
Huh?

*SKRAK*

ZOPE accidentally smashes his hand with the hammer.

ZOPE
AAAAAH!

O'DEL
What's wrong?

ZOPE (yelling and holding up his swollen hand)
O'DEL, YOU MORON!

O'DEL
Oh, you killed your hand, sorry. But I have a message from the king.

ZOPE (holding hammer threateningly)
I want no message. Just get out or die.

O'DEL
He says that you should scrap the 300 ft. high statue of his eyelash you've been working on these 8 months. Also, your girlfriend left you for the court jester.

ZOPE bashes himself on the head with his hammer.

ZOPE (eyes X'd out)
How nice.

*CZ*

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Original Zope in The Mystery of the Big Clock
11/18/86

Zope visits Eurotowne to buy Brillo, gasoline, and Spam.

Here, everybody runs their life according to the Big Clock.

This clock is so big that you can see it anywhere in town, so nobody wears a watch.

ZOPE (thinking to himself)
Assholes!

As Zope walks along, he sees a horribly deformed little midget...

HORRIBLY DEFORMED LITTLE MIDGET
Meesta, get outta town, meesta. Some bed shit's comin' down!

ZOPE
Shut yer trap, ya little...

Suddenly a *KRASH!!!* is heard.

ZOPE
Huh? What the...

Uh oh! The big clock has started running backwards real fast and everyone's goin' nuts!

Zope is caught in the middle of a rioting crowd!

ZOPE
Oh, dear...

ZOPE starts to shoot his gun.

ZOPE
Help me, Mr. Uzi! Yow!

*RATATA-TATATATA-TATATATA-ATATA-ATTATAAT*

Zope is slaughtering a whole lot of people, but he realizes the cause of it all...

ZOPE
That goddamned clock!

Soon...

ZOPE
Huh! This 5-kiloton nuclear device should do the trick!

*KA-NUKO!*

ZOPE nukes the Big Clock.

ZOPE
Whoops!

*CZ*

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Get All Obliviana!